Monday, again...

Well it is Monday again. It is so hard to be at home all the time. Nothing really to look forward to. Everyday is the same as the one before. Not that I don't love being home with my kids and am so happy I get to do that but not having adult interaction is so hard. Not many understand that, they think I am so lucky. Not many people could handle being home day after day after day. It isn't like I get to go outside and anything because I have a baby in the house, that requires a lot of attention. I have no money to go and have fun. So I sit here day after day after day. I do the same stuff everyday. Wake up, get Ashton ready, check school, get Lucas up, change him, feed him, play time, nap time, laundry, dishes, vaccum, change Lucas, lunch ready, feed baby, play, check school, naptime for Lucas, school work, Ashton home, switch laundry, help Ashton with homework, fix dinner, fussy time for Lucas, eat dinner, clean up some dishes, Ashton ready for bed, Lucas ready for bed, and then do homework until about 11pm. My day starts all over at 530am. Try this day in and day out. I long for a movie or someone to make me dinner. I long for needing to go run an errand just to get away for the day. I want human contact. Little people are not human. LOL They are little people. Crying is the form of communication from Lucas. Which many times that is what I want to do also. Those around me just don't see this. I want to feel like a person. I am more than just a mom. I am a female who likes attention. Things will change soon. I am tired of doing for everyone and thinking about their needs. I want things to be about me for once. I don't care if someone don't like this food or that. I like this kind of food, I like to watch the shows I like. I will always have my little kids come first in my life but these bigger kids need to watch out.
Ok I needed to vent. I need to vent often. I need help that I don't get. Things are going to change. Maybe not for the better of everyone around me but the better for me. I need to do what is best for me. I need some sanity in my life and I need to feel like I am alive. I use to feel that way. Now I feel like a babysitter. I am handy to have around to be the cook.
Things will change.