Standing Alone

Standing alone

Monday again?

We didn't have speech therapy last week. I "fired" her. I can not handle the negative so we are waiting to hear if there is another one lined up.
Had a pretty good week nothing exciting happening here.
I did my volunteer work at the hospital Saturday. I like doing it just don't like the drive. Would be nice if I could find a job to drive to every Saturday while the baby isn't here. I could use some extra money. God will provide a way.
Lucas was at daddy's Friday night and Saturday. Ashton went to his daddy's. He goes the whole weekend, Greg is a good dad and make sure he spends a lot of time with Ashton.
Sunday I went to church and then to do a couple hours of volunteer work again.
Came home and finished my homework.
So you can see it was uneventful.
It is weird to think I am actually happy with my life in general. Oh there are things that could be better, like having a maid to clean, more money (of course), and someone to go to dinner and movies with once in a while. Overall it is good and I am happy.
School is going well. Raised my GPA from 3.92 to a 3.94, this is something I am proud of. My classes are going well so far. I received my grades for the first two weeks in psych and it is 100%, my critical thinking class I have only received one weeks grade but it was also 100%.
Lucas has learned to say Yeeeaaahhhhh. He don't quite get the y in there but it is cute. He can also give hugs and say A A A. Like at but with no T.
He climbs up to everything to stand. I am sure he will be walking this summer.

Snow on Saturday morning

Saturday morning Snow

Fell asleep in the chair next to me

Yelling

Standing At The Chair

Sorry this picture is so dark. My phone does not take very good ones. This is little Lucas standing at my chair. He is getting very good at doing this.

Standing

Getting really brave no holding on while standing.

Scout Boy

Wild boy

12 Steps

• I am only going to concern myself with the needs of me. My children are a big part of me.
• I will no longer worry about other people's feelings.
• I am taking control of my life and the way I want to live it. If it isn't something that is good for me, then it is NOT going to happen.
• For once I AM going to be selfish. If everyone else can be that way then so can I.
• I will be respected.
• I will no longer let anyone talk to me in a condescending tone. Turning their issues onto me and trying to make me out to be the bad one. It is not my fault if others can not step up to the plate.
• I do my part and beyond.
• I will continue to do my part and beyond, this is me and who I am.
• I will no longer be the door mat for everyone elses' mud. Keep their mud on their own shoes. Find another door mat.
• And to whoever feels this is about them, If the shoe fits, wear it. Don't feel as if you can walk in my shoes, it never will happen.
• I take my job seriously and will never let my kids come second to no one or anything.
• And oh by the way, my size 7.5 will never fit your feet.

My rant is over now, I feel better.

Time flies when you are.....

Busy
I have been so busy with school for myself and the boys it is crazy. I just feel like I need to stay busy so I don't think about how sad I really am. I am coping and life is changing. Lucas still has PT and ST speech therapy every other week. So once a week it is one and the other week it is the other. That keeps me busy.
It has been a month and a half since Lucas's daddy and I split. I am still sad about it. I miss him but there is nothing I can do. I don't want it to be like it was and it won't change so I have to move forward and try not to think about what could have been. I do get some free time to get my homework done each week. I hate not having my baby but I have to share. I am at the point in my life I miss my kids. All my kids. Marcus is so far away and a new baby coming, I hate not being a part of it. Nathan is doing his thing around here, getting ready to do some training for big equipment school. Ashton is at a great age but I don't get much time with him to have fun. We do homework and then it is dinner and then ready for bed. Don't leave much time for anything else. I really wish we had a Wii, him and I could play games and I know he would enjoy that and we both could get some exercise. Lucas is doing so much more and his recognition is amazing. I don't know how anyone could think he is mentally disabled. He is so smart. He is slower when it is coming to walking but he is now pulling up to the couch or anything he can and is getting stronger everyday. He actually can walk along the couch now. Probably because he has braces on his feet now. It is amazing what a few weeks can do for him.
I have to talk to the lady at First Steps. I don't feel that his speech therapist is all that great for us. She seems to be so negative all the time. Something I get tired of. She is my constant reminder that we don't have the typical baby. I love my baby and would never trade him for anything in the world. I want more positive and not the negative. Her needing to come is the only negative I wish to have.
School is going good. I want to have better grades and people think I am crazy for being so hard on myself but that is what I want. I started two new classes this week. It sure is getting harder as the time goes by.
So as if I am not busy enough, I decided I wanted to do some volunteer work. I am now volunteering every other Saturday at Liberty Hospital in the Gift Shop. Just for starters. I am hoping to be able to work more with patients but that didn't work for me yet. I need to have a every other Wed person so I can work in the PACU - Patient After Care Unit. That would be very interesting to do.
I also signed up to be an It Works distributor. Check me out at sonyahailey.myitworks.com
Well I am going for now, hopefully not so long this time but as you can see I can not guarantee anything.