Thursday

Been a couple days. I have some kind of bug/cootie. I don't like being sick at all. Started out on Monday with my throat feeling weird when I woke up. By the time I got back from the city, I was getting hoarse. Tuesday I woke with a sore throat but it got better. Just felt and sounded yucky. Wednesday the throat was better but still felt bad. Today I feel crappy. Tired, very tired. I am hoping to get a good nites sleep and feel like a million buck tomorrow.
I could feeling crappy because I am worried about money. I bought just a few things for Christmas, spent maybe $50 and I need to get a little more stuff. I spent way more on groceries than I planned. Just waiting for some kind of miracle to get me out of this rut. A lottery win? That would be the key to solving my money problem and few other people I know. Wish and wish I could have that much money. My mom would get the best care, both my parents could live in a house that worked for them. My boys' grandparents would get to move to someplace they can handle.
I am still thankful for all I have. I am glad I do have a place to live and can, at least, pay my bills. I do make sure the kids have food to eat. They may not have the best clothes in the world but what they have is good. Not junky, not always new, but good. Someday I will go and find me some jeans, at least. I have one pair. I need to lose weight and I will have many pairs again. I am just in a mode that it is hard to concentrate on me.

Lucas went to his grandparents for two days. He loves it there, I can tell. He was a little crying last night. He would full blown cry and then stop and then do it again. Like he didn't want to be here. He woke up happy today and was a good boy pretty much the whole day. He had Miss Amanda here again. She worked on his crawling. He does well with support. He was getting tired in the middle of it, like he always does.
Lucas has been attacking the cats. Poor baby kitties. They just stay there and let him squish their face, pull a tail, grab their legs and yank them across the floor, beat on them, and grab an ear. You would think they would scratch him or bite him, they don't. He lets go and they lay there. Silly cats.

Ashton is having a birthday party on Sat. He is wanting a skating party. I will be fun. He likes to skate. Can't believe he will be 8. All I can think about is when he was born. I sure wish I still lived in Oregon. Wished a lot of things were different. But they aren't and I have to live with my decisions and the path I have been given.

Sorry this is more of a downer post than a good one. Hey life is a roller coaster, pull you safety bar down and hold on.......